Pure Will

There comes a time in every classical hero’s journey that he must come to grips with. A crooked blade of potential and talent waiting to be molded in the fire of hardship, pain and challenge.

First you must set the stage, for there is no hero without a kingdom. No great individual without a society to declare such a person great. This is a hard time to be young in Nigeria. The career path forward has never been this distorted for those select few lucky enough in comparison with the general population. The educated class of the population is facing something unique in recent history. The issue? Unemployment rates are sky high. Inflation is pressing on the already small incomes people were managing to find and the general state of the country is a little bit more depressing everyday that passes, with few glimmers of hope here and there.

Economics does not rule a society completely. It is afterall only an aspect of it. however it is through this lens that we shall investigate for it is significant enough a factor that presses on the young and changes society in ways you would not expect. The problem? The cause of this dystopia? That is a complex question and with many adequate theories, opinions and supporting facts. I need not go into any significant detail here, a little research and walk around will reveal much insight into the state of affairs.

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/ni.html

Unfortunately, these larger picture pressures come at such a unique point in a young adults life. It comes at a time of significant uncertainty about the future and the ever shifting nature and unpredictability of it all. People are struggling to find themselves, their place in society and their general adult life’s direction. Nigeria is a somewhat young country of about 59 years since independence of its territories. Few generations have come and gone. The population is exploding and it is a young one.

http://worldpopulationreview.com/countries/nigeria-population/

The stage is set, now enters our hero. A naive child born in middle class Nigeria, what could be said of him? Where to start? It is unimportant. What is important to note is our hero has faced many trials. I am ashamed to say he has failed to go through his 60 second growth montage with inspiring music.

It broke his heart, the madness surrounding him. To this day he cannot reconcile - Is everyone mad or am I simply insane?

https://atimetravellingghost.wordpress.com

This little naive boy what did he know of the world? Not until his entry into the higher education system did he begin to see with clarity. He experienced what Nigeria had to offer, the horrors of its institutions and values. Things he was shielded from… somewhat in his sensitive and formative years as best as was possible. He tried to run… to escape it. That fell short. He tried to accept it, and put together what he could from the ashes. He tried to navigate and reconcile the reality. He failed. Project after project. Challenges that would have such a disproportionate level of difficulty. It felt impossible. What did our hero do? Did he overcome setback after setback? No. At some point our little naive big eyed intellectual turned into a cynical nihilistic hedonist. Failure after failure, setback after setback. That incessant voice at the back of his mind… Maybe they’re right. I don’t know this. I don’t know how to this. Grades seemed to prove the point don’t they? An objective measured of learning and success to evaluate performance had judged our fragile hero lacking. Project after project he kept hitting the same wall. Failure.

Our hero is by no means significantly exceptional in terms of intelligence. Yet never in his entire life had he faced an exercise in the mind he couldn’t conquer. Was it a question of latent ability? No. He made sure. He took a standardized exam at great cost. It proved he wasn’t completely inept. Yet… he couldn’t quite do it could he? He couldn’t prove to the education system that had accepted him that he was more. So like a cliche he devolved into drug use and the varying temptations of youth. Why? Partly it was rebellion, partly it was the inability to process distasteful emotions. Chiefly? There wasn’t much he “could” do or so our blind hero thought. He descends into a fog. A dark place lost our hero was. Lost not like he was in philosophizing and abstract thought, no. He was lost without seeking. Where the wind blew he went and he tried to enjoy the feel of it.

It didn’t last long. Fast forward he rises from the numbing and running away. He finds that life isn’t for him after all. It disappointed him. It wasn’t quite enough. Women he found transient and temporary. Interested one moment and not as quite the next moment. Fickle. Beautiful creatures to be sure, things to be adored and taken care of yet never possessed. Drugs were quite disappointing the brief distortions were serene yes… however pointless. They altered the subjective experience far too dishonestly and made the mind heavy and foggy. No. Drugs will not do. Friendships formed and social settings were all experimented with. Our hero learned much of people. This shy anxiety ridden boy consumed by his books turned into the amateur social butterfly and lover of beautiful people. It was all disappointing, it simply would not do.

Now we return. Our little hero is somewhat jaded, somewhat naive. Not quite young, not quite old. With a renewed dedication borderline obsession with hard work, progress and productivity. What has changed? Not much. His grades are just as awful as they’ve always been regardless of dedication and hardwork.

His personality? That is for others to judge. His will however is somewhat tempered. He isn’t quite as he was. He hasn’t grown necessarily. He hasn’t achieved anything meaningful. However he feels different. He sees different? Failure it seems is not an end. Far from it. It is an obstacle. A handicap to be overcome and bested. How? That if you care enough to stick around for the rest of this story you’ll find out.

It is one or the other now. I must be right or society is right. I must succeed or I will not. I must be insane or I must prove society insane.

-Haile Lagi

An obsessed youth